Sänggåendet och sexualakten präglas av sin egen klumpiga medvetenhet också efter alla dessa år. Det är aldrig så vi föreställer oss den, men också passionen avbryts av det konstlösa avklädandet och det fumliga beträdandet. Eftersom historieskrivningen ofta saknar det banala, det så fundamentalt mänskliga i all dess privata litenhet, är Huysman's Là-Bas min favoritroman när det kommer till samlagsskildringar. Den komplicerade akten, så väl fysiskt som socialt, har sällan beskrivits så brutalt charmlöst, eller så rumsligt som när Durtal kontemplerar hur han bäst ska förföra Madame Chantelouve och i sin passionslösa plan placerar en liten huvudkudde under fåtöljen i salongen. Jag var aldrig förförd av Oliver Mellors som ung, jag har alltid varit för besatt av det fula, och så måste jag väl tillstå att jag fascineras av den mekaniska och överintellektualiserande huvudperson.
"The real question is, how should I act when she arrives?" he said sinking into his armchair. "She comes in. So far so good. I take her by the hand, I raise it to my lips, I lead her in here where I sit her down in the armchair beside the fire. I'll sit over there, on the updright chair, facing her, if I move it a bit forward, our knees will be almost touching, and I can take hold of her hands again, and pull her towards me a little, at which moment, since we are both overbalancing I will stand up, from then it's plain sailing, it will be quite natural for me to kiss her.
Or perhaps not so plain! That's the point where all the troubles start. I can't even bear to think of following her into the bedroom. How dreadful it is undressing in front of somebody for the first time and going to bed with them! That is always the part that appals me the most about this seduction business! The best way is a cosy little supper for two, a bottle of some rather potent wine, you have to know how to break down a woman's inhibitions. With a bit of luck she'll almost pass out, with the result that by the time she comes around I'm ready giving her sureptitious kisses in a darkened room.
In the absence of such a supper the best we can do is avoid embarrassing each other, and the only way to do that is by creating the impression that we can't control ourselves, that we are in the grip of a whirlwind of passion! Essentially I shall have to have her in here, in this very rooom, that way she'll imagine I have completely lost my head and she'll just cave in. Itäs not that easy to arrange such a scenario in a room which doesn't even possess a sofa though! Which means I'll just have to do it on the floor. She can put her hands over her eyes if she doesn't like what she sees, the way women always do. I'd better remember to turn down the lamp when it's over.
I suppose I better find a cushion for her head too." He searched one out and pushed it under the chair. " Perhaps I should remove my braces? They are often the cause of some ridiculous fumbling around." He took them off and put on a belt. "But braces are nothing in comparison to the problems caused by skirts! How easy novelists make it sound, deflowering maidens saddled with corsets, stays and slips. Naturally it is all over with in the stroke of a pen! Personally I can't imagine anything worse than fighting my way through yards of cloth and starched linen!"
